GRAVITY IS A LIE
Read the truth and be saved
Before I get started, I would like to state for the record that Incipiat Turba has always supported scientific discovery and science education. Science has done many great things for mankind. Science has given us sport utility vehicles, nuclear weapons, polyester, and the world wide web so that God’s children around the globe can communicate and share their praises for Jesus.
Sometimes however science can become an instrument of the devil. Sometimes this abuse is obvious (birth control, internet pornography, artificial sweeteners etc.), but sometimes Satan’s work is harder to uncover. Some of these atrocities are not carried out in secluded laboratories, but in the schools we trust to teach our children. The public/heathen school system has been working for years to undermine the teachings of Christianity in an attempt to amass a larger army for the forces of evil when the end of days is upon us.
One heathen lie which has gone largely uncontested is that of “gravity.” Physicists would have us believe that there is an attractive force between all particles which have mass. An equation was invented to describe this “gravity”: F = -G*(m1*m2)/r^2. m1 and m2 represent the “mass” of each object, and r is the distance between the two objects. What is G you ask? It is the “gravitational constant” which has the value of 6.67 x 10^-11 Nm^2kg^-2. 6.67? Subtle isn’t it? If the beast accepts numbers with even a 0.5% margin of error (which is still being VERY precise), 667 is certainly close enough to shop at the 666 markets.
It should be enough for a clean Christian mind to recognize that nowhere in the bible is this ridiculous concept of “gravity” mentioned. The word of God is the word of God. It is complete, it is true and it has no room for the devil’s lies of dinosaurs, evolution, gravity, or compassionate conservatives. Read Genesis again. On what day did gravity come about? That’s right. It didn’t.
Unfortunately for the thorough investigator, the word of God, isn’t a single word, but rather a whole series of books glued together in one big mash of righteousness. While you should certainly be committing this to memory as swiftly as you can, it is probably not feasible for you to analyze the entire collection, Genesis through Revelations to verify the lack of text devoted to this silly force concept. That’s why you can use the strong mind the lord endowed you with to reach the same conclusion using common sense. Everything around you has mass according to the physicists. This means that there is gravity between EVERYTHING. How often have you felt yourself pulled towards the mass of your refrigerator? How many times has your gravity pulled items right into your body? How many cars have you seen stuck together on the highway, unable to separate themselves due to some mystical force? Never. Also, if gravity is dependent on mass, why aren’t fat people more attractive? The scientists will claim that the mass is not significant enough to create a noticeable force. That’s awfully convenient. So, the Earth is heavy enough to pull us all towards it, but nothing else on the planet can cause even the slightest tug? There are magnets of course, but apparently that’s a different mysterious force all together. The earth is obviously not a magnet as anyone can observe. Stick a magnet to your fridge. Next, try to stick it to a hill. Does it stick? No, it doesn’t stick.
Why do we stay on the earth if there’s no gravity? The power of God. God uses a form of a divine tractor beam to hold people on earth to prevent them from ascending to heaven before it is their time. Surely you’ve seen a science fiction movie before. Science fiction has always been an amusing name to me by the way. Isn’t it a little redundant? In science fiction movies, there are often space ships with tractor beams which can pull other ships or objects towards the ship with the beam. The ships don’t randomly collide. They are only pulled together by the tractor beam when it is activated by the designers of the device. Just like that, God uses his divine powers to hold us to the world he made for us. He could deactivate it at any time and we should be thankful that he doesn’t. One day however, God will annihilate the wicked and release the tractor beam on the righteous and pure so that they may enter his kingdom. The pull of “gravity” is the pull of Satan which can only pull you into eternal damnation.