Social networks are all the rage these days. One of the primary activities is the updating of status messages. Normally, people just update their status with inane bits of text like “OMG, just had a sandwich,” or “Tested positive. If you’re reading this, you probably also have HIV.” The correct way to update your status is to record a new metal song and then upload it. That way everyone will be reminded that your status is still, and will always be “GRIM.”